Your December Checklist: Christmas Edition


The holidays are hectic so let me cut to the chase. I’ve got a checklist for you whether you’re an introvert, an extrovert, a spender, or a partyer. You can skip to your section or do them all. Just make sure you have one hell of a holiday.

For the homebody

  • Decorate. Unplug from social media and plug in the string lights baby!
  • Stock up on scented Christmas candles. On sale (64% off) at Bath & Body.
  • Order everyone’s gifts on Amazon. Get yourself something nice.
  • Apparently, Amazon is able to do the wrapping for you (You’re welcome)
  • If not, challenge yourself to wrap gifts with actual wrapping paper and ribbon.
  • Or at least remember to put tissue paper in the gift bags. Show some effort.
  • Give yourself an entire self care weekend wearing Christmas jammies.
  • Chill out to the soothing sounds of DMX’s Rudolph remix.
  • Make chocolate chip cookies. Eat most of the cookie dough.
  • Gain ten pounds. Wear oversized sweaters to compensate.  
  • You’ve probably already seen every Hallmark Christmas movie.
  • Graduate to Netflix. Binge all the new Christmas movies.
  • You’re last resort is Freeform. Or the only Blockbuster still in business.
  • Panic about spending time with distant relatives over the holidays.
  • Use the last of your vacation days to sleep off all of your hard homebodying!

For the entertainer

  • Throw a make-your-own Christmas cocktail party.
  • If that’s too classy, just play the Santa hat drinking game.
  • Hang a mistletoe and make it awkward for all of your single friends!
  • Ugly sweater parties are a good excuse to dress comfy on a Saturday night.
  • Whoever has the best ugly sweater wins a re-gift you never used from last year.
  • You’re already watching Hallmark movies, invite a friend over on a weeknight to join.
  • Because friends over on a weeknight is a perfect reason to order takeout! (And drinks)
  • Request DMX’s Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer at every get together.
  • Especially at the office holiday party. Very appropriate. Everyone will love you.
  • Use the holidays as an excuse to try every holiday cocktail that exists.
  • Don’t forget about all the seasonal craft beers that’ve been released!
  • Invite friends or fam over to bake cookies. Forget to bake cookies.  
  • Skip organizing pollyannas Doing gag gifts is more fun.
  • For the love of God don’t bring up politics during the holiday party.
  • Or your stance on vaccinations. That’s not up for debate.

For the shopper

  • Consider gifting experiences. Try Groupon (So affordable). Movie tickets (A classic.) Or a weekend getaway on you (If you got it like that).
  • Make someone a personalized gift basket filled with handpicked presents they’ll love.
  • Raid TJ Maxx, Marshalls, and Homegoods before shopping anywhere else. No seriously.
  • Tell yourself you won’t wait until last minute to do your holiday shopping.
  • Literally wait until the last minute to do your holiday shopping.
  • Shop local. Do some old school, offline Christmas shopping.
  • Pay to get your gifts wrapped at the mall. Save time. Not money.
  • If you actually considered that, you’re probably also gifting a getaway.
  • If you didn’t, check out the dollar store for incredibly affordable stocking stuffers.
  • Make every gift you give truly thoughtful. It’s not all about the mula baby.
  • Avoid maxing out your credit cards. Avoid opening new credit cards.
  • Buy your most conservative family member a ridiculously inappropriate gag gift.
  • Never forget their reaction. Priceless.  

For the adventurer

  • Visit and support small towns like Peddler’s Village.
  • Then go big: visit to New York City to see the tree and do all the things.
  • Totally regret going to NYC during the busiest time of year. Blame me.
  • Cut down your own Christmas tree. Consider yourself Paul Bunyan.
  • Crash someone else’s holiday office party. Make Christmas crashing a thing.
  • Round up a friend or two and be the only adults in line to get a picture with Santa.
  • Shamelessly post the picture to Instagram with obnoxious hashtags. Get no likes.
  • Points if you send it out as a Christmas card. Help save the U.S. Postal Service.
  • Drive through rich neighborhoods to see their much-better-than-your’s decorations.
  • Rally up friends that are just as weird as you to go Christmas caroling.
  • Tell everyone that yes, you actually went Christmas caroling.
  • Go ice skating. Absolutely pregame. Maybe bust your ass.
  • Solve world hunger. Tell no one.


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