Telling Yourself: Even Now I’m Abundant

The other night, rain was teeming against our house like I’ve never seen before and it made me shudder. I felt this wave of gratitude that our house could withstand the storm. It’s not like I’ve ever lived in a house with a leaky roof, we were always fortunate. Maybe because I grew up camping in tents or something, I really don’t know how to justify my thought process. Like, the wind was so loud and the rain was so aggressive I just felt shocked our house could withstand the storm. For some reason, it was amazing to me as the rain pounded against the kitchen window that I had a home that could keep me dry. I am abundant. 

Right before the Covid outbreak, Brett had taken on a job at the corporate office of a bank he had been working at for a few years. He’s still employed to this day which in and of itself is a blessing. The day after that storm, he found out that his former position was being eliminated. If he hadn’t accepted a role within the corporate office earlier this year, he would’ve been demoted or left unemployed. Again, I became amazed at our fortune. I couldn’t believe, despite everything, our circumstances were favorable. Even now, we are abundant. 

After work on the same day, our hot water heater that had been on the brink of breaking started to work. I took in every second of the warm shower that day, leaning my head on the cool tiles, and let the waves of gratitude overwhelm me to the point of tears. Sure, I am still recovering from Covid while battling an autoimmune disease. Yes, I just had someone in my family who I adored pass away. Honestly, I still can’t tell you what hurts more in this moment, my heart or my body, but still I choose to welcome gratitude and allow it to wash over me. Because even now, I am abundant. Even now, I am abundant. 

Life has thrown too many fights my way for me to say I believe in rolling with the punches. Taking the hits and hoping it’ll stop soon will only leave you bruised and bitter. Not to mention, it can be some time before life chooses to surrender the fight and give you a win. Instead, with every ounce of wind that’s knocked out of you, you have to hit back with all the things that are still breathing life into you. Because you need to let life know even now, you are abundant. 

Every time the rug is ripped out from under you, you have to acknowledge the floor you have to land on. When that floor beneath you caves in, you must wipe the dust off and be grateful you didn’t fall into the pits of hell. And when you are dragged through hell, I hope you get the courage to look the devil himself right in the eye and tell him despite everything, you are grateful. Because even now, you are abundant. Even now, you are abundant. 

Right now a lot of us are enraged that life is being ripped away from us. There’s so much heartbreak and frustration on my timeline; I feel like we’re collectively weeping yet life won’t let up. Despite everything though, you have to look for something to keep your hope alive. You need to speak about the things that are lifting you ever so slightly. It’s those little things that will light the fire you’ll need to see this year through. In this moment, you might not have a job, a warm shower or even your own home. So even if it’s the very air you breathe you need to be grateful for, may it shift you so much you dodge the next punch life throws at you. If you look closer you’ll see that even now, you are abundant too. Even now, you are abundant I promise you. 

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